Nittany Blood Bowl

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The Nibble Big 10 is Formed!

Deep in the heart of the brutal land of "Pencil-Vania", exists an immortal Coach known only as "Joe."  He looks out over the ominous mountains that surround 
his valley, searching for the Coach who one day might claim his throne.  His team of Lions have dominated the land for as long as anyone can remember, besting all challengers on the Blood Bowl pitch.  But the winds of change are sweeping across these hills, and a new band of Coaches hope to stake their claim on this title... Lord of these mountains, King of the Lions!     Welcome to the Nittany Blood Bowl League (NiBBL)!

Breaking News:

NiBBL Big Ten Week #2

Week 2 results are final, and we've already begun week 3! So let's get these match reports out before my editors send the Ogres after me!

Coach Da Basher faced Coach Black Bedlam in the first contest of the week in a Nurgle vs Necromantic no holds bared death match! Except that no one died, so it was just a match... sadly. Beasts of Rock's modus operandi is slowly (and boy do I mean SLOWLY) starting to take shape. Emphasizing ball possession and slooooow-down tactics, the Beasts have held their second straight opponent scoreless with their 3 to nil victory. Meanwhile, Bedlam's Blackguard is still trying to get a feel for how his team thinks and reacts! FYI Coach Bedlam, having "no life" is NOT the same as being undead. You're going to have to find a different way to associate with your team.

Thankfully, our next battle of the week finally answers the question of what will happen when world order devolves into chaos... 3 to 1. Think about it, we could trademark 3:1 to signify the end of the world! Look at 3:1 sideways! It looks like a smirking demon with horns! It's brilliant! Why am I sharing this multi-gazillion dollar idea with you losers? Nevermind, back to the game! Riotous Rumblers scored 3 touchdowns, and Khorne Borne scored 1. 3 to 1. 3:1

Next up, Evisceration of the Ran'K hosted Butts_McCraken to continue this week's theme of evil scumbags vs. evil scumbags! (Nothing personal though). While thousands of grammar teachers protested the match outside the stadium, fans were elated by the carnage on the pitch! Eight casualties and one death for those keeping track! Although the final score reads 1 to 1, Evisceration come out of the game much worse off, and will be down FOUR players for their next contest. Ouch! In the other locker room, Butts_McCraken seem pleased with the tie, but more importantly they keep their death caused streak rolling along at two games! Now this is a team I can support!

The two pass-happy Elf teams also squared off this week, yet surprised everyone in attendance by displaying their running prowess! A few key plays led to a 2 to 1 result in favor of Highhold Avengers! Their star catcher Kiirdur Landeredal (yet another reason why everyone hates elves, their fancy-pancy names!) is already vying for league MVP! The Union prance (hehehehehe, prance) away with a loss, but the team looks to be taking form nicely. If these two teams can keep their players healthy they are going to be tough to stop!

The final match of the week showcased the Wood Elves vs the Vampires. Despite holding the ball for 66% of game (to just 22% for the Woodland Rashes) the Vampz in the Hood just couldn't find a way to score. Which is completely foreign to the Wood Elves and Coach Lawnmower who score with each other ALL the time. The Rashes pull out the 2 to 0 victory and are primed for their match up in week 3 against their mortal enemies the Dark Elves! The Vampires are still licking their wounds, and rumors are swirling that they may be booted out of the league for horrid play! Stay tuned for more updates!

Just one single death in week 2, so let's have a moment of silence for the Dark Elf lineman Dreissan. That's long enough! It's not like any of us really knew him, or liked him, or even cared. Ahhhh Blood Bowl, thank you for giving us the strength to embrace death and mayhem! As I said, week 3 has already begun, and I know for a fact more death is coming! Bedlam's Blackguard will look to shore up their defense against the high flying Elves of the Union. The Highhold Avengers take aim at the Riotous Rumblers in an intriguing contest where both sides look evenly matched. Will the High Elf armor hold up against Chaos's strength? Coach Larkstar will put some type of team on the pitch against Da Basher's 1st place Beasts of Rock. Is there anyone who can slow down his homage to bad 80's hair bands? Khorne Borne will pay a visit to the death-dealing Rats from Butts_McCracken and hope to put an end to Coach brtm5's early success! And last up, the game of the week pits the Dark Elves of Evisceration of the Ran'K up against the Wood Elves from the Woodland Rashes. Mortal enemies! Elves! Ok, don't focus on the elf part. Mortal enemies!

Best of luck in week 3!

NiBBL Big Ten Week #1

The results from the first week of the NiBBL Big Ten are in! Definitely some good battles as coaches get accustomed to their new teams. For those who won or drew their match, congrats! But it's still a long season, so don't be too pleased with yourself. Nuffle is a fickle diety. For those who lost, well, you suck! There is no hope for you. Quit now while you still can! Let's move on to the match recaps!

In our first game of the week, Vampz in the Hood squared off against the Union in a prime time Sunday night matchup! But alas, the game was over almost as soon as it had begun. Early injuries to the Vampire team set the stage for a significant man disadvantage for the rest of the game. Then again the Union are all Elves, so they are at a "man" disadvantage all the time! But they certainly played like men on this day, inflicting five casualties and stymieing the Vampire attack! Coach Larkstar is even considering changing their team motto to, "We suck, so you don't have to." Final score was 2 - 0, and just like that, the Union are off to a great start.

Our first league death occurred in the next game between Butts_McCraken's and Riotous Rumblers! Star Rat Ogre Hitkut is one of only TWO players in the league who can say he has killed a player from every team he's played! Both Skaven and Chaos displayed strong running games leading to 2 touchdowns per side! Coach Zettal proved his mettle (that was too easy) by rallying his troops in the wake of Gish'tigor's tragic death to secure the draw! Congrats to Coach brtm5 for his very first result! And here's hoping someone puts the boot to that Rat Ogre before he tears up the rest of the league!

The next contest proved that the undead can absolutely be utterly killed once again! The Dark Elves from Evisceration of the Ran'K ran all over the Necromantic team Bedlam's Blackguard to win the day by the score of 4 - 1. But let's face it, how much "talent" does it take to run away from a Werewolf?!?! Despite the Necro's having a ball possession advantage of 49% to 42%, they just couldn't get their offense rolling. The Ran'K's FOUR touchdowns sets a season high and is now the standard for anyone hoping to outscore this cowardly... errr, run-tastic group!

Next match saw Beasts of Rock pay a visit to Khorne Borne in a showdown between two of the Chaos God's favored sons! The lopsided ball possession of 74% for the Nurgle team versus just 11% for the Chaos team speaks volumes about this match! That's just 4 out of a possible 36 turns folks! The block dice were also against Coach Robu in this one, succeeding at just a 37% clip. Still, Chaos never surrenders, and they fought until the end. Sort of resembled the Black Night from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but still, they fought! Meanwhile, the Beast of Rock feel fortunate for the 2 - 0 victory against a solid opponent. But Nuffle is ever-watchful, and his gaze shifts quicker than a sex-deprived man at a strip club!

To wrap up the week, the Woodland Rashes welcomed their more sophisticated brethren the Highhold Avengers to their hippie den. The combined skill of these two squads mesmerized the crowd of Elves who showered the players with praise and awe. Then after the game, everyone just showered together! Though Coach Lawnmower scored 2 late touchdowns to make things interesting, the High Elves passing prowess led to 3 touchdowns and 3 points! Two more players were sent to the league graveyard from this game. Orastien Tanamyr from the Avengers sent Oak to his final resting place, and then in an extreme case of irony, was executed himself at the hands of the spunky Wood Elf Ivy! I'm sure both of these coaches are looking forward to a rematch in the Cup stage!

But don't fret Blood Bowl fans, because the fun just keeps on rolling into Week 2! The Union will play host to the Highhold Avengers in what looks to be another high scoring affair. In a rather unprofessional move, Coach xbeaker has already tried to solicit a Wood Elf hitman in anticipation for this game! Dirty pool old boy, dirty pool! Beasts of Rock will try to use their size and strength against Bedlam's Blackguard wicked Werewolf. The much anticipated Chaos vs. Chaos battle will also be played this week. The Woodland Rashes and Vampz n the Hood each hope to secure their first win of the season when they square off. And finally, Evisceration of the Ran'K hope to keep their momentum rolling against Butts_McCraken! Great start to the season everyone, let's keep it going!

NiBBL Big Ten Season 1 Preview

Welcome to our largest gathering of Blood Bowl coaches yet! The NiBBL Big Ten (Nittany Blood Bowl League) is ready to begin, so let's introduce you to the teams!

Our first team is Beasts of Rock, who hope to bring glory to Nurgle by spreading plague and foulness to the Blood Bowl pitch! Mission accomplished. We tried to convince Coach Da Basher to have his players where bags over their heads to hide the ugly, but he would have none of it! He wants his team to be proud of who they are... even if every last one of them looks like Eric Stolz from "The Mask"!

New to the league is Coach Black Bedlam who brings his team Bedlam's Blackguard to the party. Word on the street is that Coach Bedlam took extra care in selecting and honing his Necromantic team, and other coaches best be prepared for a solid squad. If this team loses, it will be ALL on the Coach. You hear that Bedlam? ALLLLL ONNNN YOUUUUUU!

Butts_McCraken will be coached by Coach brtm5. Our second new coach loves two things in this world... Speed and underscores! And his Skaven team has both in abundance! Best_of_luck_Coach_brtm5_and_welcome_to_the_league!

To round out our list of new coaches, let's throw out a warm welcome to Coach Rathgarde and his Dark Elf team Evisceration of the Ran'K. Any coach that can toss around 5 syllable words like they were Halflings should not be trifled with! Their team motto, "Entrails are our bread crumbs to your endzone", tells us all we need to know about this nasty bunch.

Coach wpc105 has "high" hopes for his High Elf team the Highhold Avengers. The skill of the elves is legendary, so expect a lot of highlights. If Coach wpc105 can take this team to new heights, we might soon all be singing along to their theme song "Because I Got High"!

Next up we have a pair of Chaos teams. The other league coaches would only approve the entry of TWO Chaos teams on the condition that they could hate them both equally. Coach Robu's Khorne Borne is prepped and ready to run rampant over all challengers! This experienced Coach already has one league title under his belt, and his Chaos recruits suggest a rather less than friendly type of play style, so expect some tough battles. If "Slam Ram" doesn't send shivers up your spin, nothing will! And I don't even want to BEGIN to think about what "The Fister" will be doing.

Most hated Chaos team number 1B will belong to Coach Zettal and his Riotous Rumblers. I know the question on everyone's mind is, "what happens when Chaos plays Chaos?" Will Chaos ensue, or will Chaos cancel out Chaos and we'll be left with fuzzy bunnies and flowers? Luckily we only have to wait until Week 2 to find out!

Coach Lawnmower will reprise his role as coach of the Woodland Rashes. He promises they will be just as skillful as the first iteration. (Editor's note: When using the word "skillfull" the author actually means "annoying"). Unfortunately for the rest of us, the Rashes finished 2nd in our last league! And if Nightshade leads the league in touchdowns once again, it'll prove that lightning really can strike twice. Especially if you employ a Wizard! (Editor's note: The author clearly hates Nightshade, but is trying to be nice. What he wants to convey is that he thinks Nightshade is a dirty, dirty tramp and should be treated as such).

The Union will be Coach xbeaker's entry into the ruckus! Coach xbeaker has had previous success with an Undead Team, but he may very well experience a rough transition into playing the frail Elves. It's almost as if xbeaker opted for a sex-change surgery. He was once a man, but decided to become a woman. He was once strong and dangerous, and now he is weak and glamorous. Interesting...

Finally, we have our most recent league champion, Coach Larkstar, and his Vampire team Vampz n the Hood. Apart from wanting to showcase his very disturbing sense of humor, Coach Larkstar is looking to prove he's not a one hit wonder! Perhaps he should of thought of that before going all-in with Vampire recruits named "Ice Teeth" and "Sir Sux-A-Lot"?

Ladies and gentle-coaches, your NiBBL Big Ten teams! Best of luck to all our coaches in the upcoming season, and may Nuffle be with you!
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