Nittany Blood Bowl

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The Nibble Big 10 is Formed!


Deep in the heart of the brutal land of "Pencil-Vania", exists an immortal Coach known only as "Joe."  He looks out over the ominous mountains that surround 
his valley, searching for the Coach who one day might claim his throne.  His team of Lions have dominated the land for as long as anyone can remember, besting all challengers on the Blood Bowl pitch.  But the winds of change are sweeping across these hills, and a new band of Coaches hope to stake their claim on this title... Lord of these mountains, King of the Lions!     Welcome to the Nittany Blood Bowl League (NiBBL)!

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Season 2: Week 2

Hello boys and girls, it's time for the weekly report! And what a week it was! Every team has managed at least a draw after two weeks' worth of matches. Obviously, this could only mean one thing.... Nuffle is messing with our brains by creating the illusion of competitiveness! Or in the case of the all those resurrection type teams, the gooey mess that used to be their brains! On to the game recaps!

Mr. Spikey and his Gang of miscreants visited their evil compatriots the Villains of Yore. The Dark Elves quickly jumped out to an early lead against the Undead team. In his post-game interview, Mr. Spikey head coach Xbeaker admitted that making new "friends" was his team's primary focus. But every time the decomposing Gang tried to get close to the slippery elves, the Villains simply kept moving down the pitch. Even after recovering two onside kicks and scoring two touchdowns in the second half to take the win, Mr. Spikey just couldn't manage to make any new friends. Da Basher, coach of the Dark Elven squad, was unfazed by the loss. All of his players survived the zombie-touch and FOUR of his key players gained enough game experience to learn new skills and abilities! Da Basher's sly grin indicates he's in this for the long haul!

The Dragon Horde limped into their game against the Ashen Fist having to hire two Skinks out of the crowd. In true underdog fashion however, one of those little guys stole the show! The journeymen fill-in completed a pass that led to a touchdown and earned MVP honors by constantly frustrating the Khemri Tomb Guardians! The Skinks dodged around the pitch like they owned the place, and pulled out a 3 to 0 win for the Lizardman side. Sadly, neither of the two scrubs will be joining the team. The Horde's Saurus captains felt shown up by the cocky little pricks and ate the pair of them as a warning to the other Skinks! Meanwhile, it looks like it's feast or famine for the Ashen Fist. When this team is rolling, they're dead on. When they're not, they're just dead!

The fast and agile Woodland Rashes squared off against the powerful Stirland Swamp Things in the third match of the week. Sure enough, the foul stench of Nurgle stymied the Wood Elven scoring attack! The Swamp Things bashed their way to a 1 to 0 lead before that trick turning Wardancer tied the match on the very last turn of the game! Will anyone be able to stop the Rashes' scoring machine? Quick, someone tell her she's fat!

And just last night, Ba-Zerka matched up against Grrr ooo... puppie in a battle destined for the history books! In the highlight of the match, the mighty Norse lineman Rexxor stood before a towering Black Orc and refused to yield his position! When the Black Orc raised his meaty fists to strike, Rexxor threw an elbow to the beast's throat dropping him dead! With no Apothecary on the sideline, the Orc team looked like the little lost puppies they love to snack on! The rest of the Norse team rallied to their brother's call for blood and emerged with a 2 to 1 victory. Once again Nuffle has imposed His will! He who spurns an Apothecary after their first match shall suffer His wrath!

No sooner than we could put the finishing touches on week 2, week 3 had begun! The Orcs, learning from their mistake (who knew?), have kidnapped an Apothecary for their match against Mr. Spikey and Gang. The rampaging Norse team Ba-Zerka hope to carry the momentum from their first win into their match against the Stirland Swamp Things. A fully healthy Dragon Horde squad will attempt to slow down the Woodland Rashes' star player. Finally, the Villains or Yore will face the Ashen Fists in a game of skill versus brute strength!

As always, may Nuffle have mercy on your soul!

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Season 1: Week 8

Just two weeks left in the Championship! Even though the Emperor's Finest has the top spot of this stage wrapped up, there is still plenty to play for! Unless your Halflings, and then you are just playing not to die! Onto the weekly recap!

The Emperor's Finest played perhaps their best game of the year against the skillful High Elves. The 3 to 0 victory assured the Human's the Championship title, while the Knights of Flowers long run in second place (along with their team resilience) has ended. The Flowers (I can't rightly call them "knights" now can I?) took a trifecta of injuries and will be greatly weakened for their next game. Still, the honorable (fine!) Knights will not wilt so easily!

In our second game, we were given proof that the untimely demise of the Skaven contingent has been greatly exaggerated! The Sewer City Anklebiters avenged a damaging 4 to 0 loss earlier in the season by racing to a 3 to 0 victory of their own against the Count De Monays. The Vampires still have a shot to climb out of the basement over the last two weeks, but their chances are about as bright and colorful as their skin tones!

The last game of the week was an absolute brutal affair between the Halflings and the Orcs. This match was a back-and-forth slug fest capped by an incredible long pass by Da Bloody Teef Boyz on turn 16 to score the games' only touchdown! With the 1 to 0 victory, the Orcs moved into 2nd place in the Championship. Meanwhile, the Rumbling Ents were forced to retire their fleet-footed friend Fosco. The famed Halfling once stood up to an Orc Blitzer and killed the vile beast! But alas, he was not strong enough to stand up to them a second time. The Orcs have had their revenge, and smashed the poor fellow's ankle. Sadly, he has played his last game of Blood Bowl. But don't fret for Fosco, as he returns to his people a hero! A hero with a limp... and lots of scars... and is mostly insane due to the horrible nightmares... So never mind, he is a shell of his former self and will live out his final days drooling all over himself and being a burden to his family and friends. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Blood Bowl!

Week 9 is up, and one can only hope the injuries continue to pile up! The Orcs will attempt to harness their momentum for their match against the powerful Human team. Do the Emperor's Finest still have anything left to play for, or will they cower at the sight of the fierce Boyz? The Rats and the Halflings are next up on the docket. The Anklebiters are always a threat to run up the score, but the Rumbling Ents have renewed hope with the return of Deeproot Strongbranch! Last but not least, the Knights of Flowers will face the Count De Monays in a game where both coaches are in desperate need of a win. The Vampires have lots of bodies to throw at the High Elves, but all those fancy skills will be hard to overcome.

I have only one thing left to write... Excelsior!

Larkstar
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Season 2: Week 1

The new season is off and running and if the first few games are any indication of what's to come, this blood fest will be legendary!

The elves, of Dark and of Wood, were the first to step onto the pitch. Each side was supremely confident in their ability to score and score often. The game went back and forth, and even saw a mighty Treeman running down the field with the ball! But in the end, the Villains of Yore's thirst for vengeance was stalemated by the Woodland Rashes' quest for justice! Dr. Claw was the evil champion, scoring both a touchdown and casualty. But a late touchdown by the Wood Elves' star Wardancer Nightshade (did I mention she's hot-sauce?) tied the game at 2 for a draw. One could only imagine the juggernaut these teams could form if they could put their differences aside. A "Dark Wood" team might just be too "big" for the rest of us to handle! The only thing this game lacked was the Wardancer squaring off against the Witch Elf for a little girl-on-girl action!

The fierce Norse team Ba-Zerka, fresh off the slaughter of some Chaos Beastmen, challenged the ancient Khemri titans of the Ashen First. The blood bowl crowd, who had grown sleepy from all the dancing and prancing in the all-elven game, were ready for some carnage! In fact, they were so riled up they straight up murdered the first Norse Runner that was pushed off the pitch! At least he died with his boots on... actually he died with OTHER people's boots on his face, but now we're picking nits! Meanwhile, on the blood-stained field, the Tomb Guardians ruled the pitch. And the way the Khemri's coach was talking trash proves once and for all that the dead really do tell tales... and um, can talk a good game of smack. Final score, 2 to 0 to the Khemri, who look like a force to be reckoned with. Ba-Zerka's confidence remains high though! A little bit of mead, feasting, raping and pillaging, and they'll be ready to lower the hammer on their next foe!

The blood-letting continued into the next match between the Dragon Horde and Mr. Spikey and the Gang. A game record 9 casualties were recorded! Almost prophetic in his pre-game speech the Undead coach motivated his team to the tune of 6 casualties, and very nearly acquired the new "friends" he was looking for. Star Mummy Morgo racked up 4 all by his lonesome! Insert the obligatory "Who's your Mummy" joke here. However, victory went to the Lizards, whose speed carried them to a 2 to 1 result! The slippery Skinks managed to find all the right holes... that's what she said! Will an early win be worth the pain and suffering the Horde endured to get it?

The Nurgle team the Stirland Swamp Things (where's Adrienne Barbeau?!?!) squared off against the Orc team Grr ooo... puppie (an attention deficient group of Orcs who are distracted by puppies... now I've seen everything!) in the last match of the week. The raucous fans got to witness what happens when an unstoppable force (the Orcs) bangs heads with an immovable object (the Nurgle)... players get hurt, blood spews everywhere, and merriment and joy are had by all! The Orcs pulled out a slim 1 to 0 victory and seem to have hit the ground running. The Swamp Things very nearly scored themselves, however, and coaches best beware of the stank of Nurgle! An additional 3 casualties places the weekly total at 18! And yet the ONLY death was caused by a group of pissed off fans! In the words of the immortal Mincemeat Lombardi - "what the hell is going on around here!"

This much blood bowl goodness will assuredly spill over into Week 2, so get those Apothocaries ready! The Dragon Horde, weakened in their first match, will play host to the Ashen Fist. This will be speed vs strength at it's finest! The Woodland Rashes will face the Stirland Swamp Things in what's bound to be a disease ridden game. I'm going to go ahead and take back my comment that the Wardancer is hot-sauce, that STD carrying slu.... Our third match will feature the Villains of Yore versus Mr. Spikey and the Gang. Will Mr. Spikey gain his first "friend", or will the Dark Elves continue to shun him like the freak that he is? Our final match pits the ravage Norse Ba-Zerka team against the dim-witted Orcs. I'm wondering if it was a mistake to call them dim-witted? Nah, what are the chances they can even read? Hell, there coach can't even pick a proper team name. Zing!

Best of luck in week 2!

Larkstar


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Season 1: Week 7

Helloooooooo Coaches!

Week 7 is history, and we have some exciting matches to recap. The Rumbling Ents once again cooked up a victory over the Count De Monays by a score of 2 to 0. However, the Vampire Lords caused yet another Halfling death! He was brave, he was valiant, and even though we can't remember what his name was, he will be remembered fondly.

The Emperor's Finest gained their revenge against the Sewer City Anklebiters for the only blemish on their record with a 2 to 0 victory. This late in the season, I'm not sure anyone can catch the slippery Humans for the top seed. But the Skaven have themselves the clear cut all-star of the league in their remarkable Thrower Slingclaw! There's still enough time for those stinky rats to do some damage!

Finally, the battle of the Coaches Moe! Once again, this game did not disappoint the fans and saw each team score 1 touchdown for a crowd-pleasing draw. These two teams are headed on a collision course in the playoffs, where there can be only ONE! That's right, I threw out a Highlander reference!

Week 8 is upon us, and it's going to be an amazing finish before our tournament begins! The Vampires will try and sink their fangs into the speedy Rats. Ratatouille anyone? The Knights of Flowers take aim on the pious Humans who gave the High Elves their only loss back in week 3. Then the match everyone has been waiting for, the epitome of evil vs. good... large vs. small... favorite vs. underdog... Orcs. vs Halflings!

To the pain! That's right, a Princess Bride reference! This reporter is EN FUEGO!


Good luck next week!
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Season 1: Week 6

Week 6 marked the first of five weeks of rematches! But while revenge was on everyone's mind, there was little to be had. The Emperor's Finest pulled out a 3 to 2 win over The Count De Monay's with a last minute Hail Mary. You have to believe that the eye of Nuffle will shift it's gaze off the Vampires at some point.

Meanwhile, Da Bloody Teef Boyz ran their way to a 2 to 0 victory over the Sewer City Anklebiters. The score was identical to their Week 1 matchup, which seems to favor the hard hitting Orcs. Will the Rats get another shot to display their speed against these Orcs in the playoffs?

In the last game of the week, the Knights of Flowers and the Rumbling Ents played to a hard fought 1 to 1 tie. This was certainly a tale of two different halves, with each team spending a considerable amount of time feeling the wrath of Nuffle!

The standings remained unchanged from week 5 and it looks as if every team escaped any horrible injuries. The majority of teams look to be developing nicely, but everyone is just a star player death away from complete and utter turmoil! So keep those apoths close by as we head to week 7! The Rumbling Ents will hope the Count De Monay's luck stays at bay for one more week. The Emperor's Finest are hoping to avenge their only loss of the season (and a brutal, brutal loss it was!) against the Sewer City Anklebiters. Finally, Da Bloody Teef Boys and the Knights of Flowers will resume their deadlocked struggle from week 5, and hopefully decide once and for all is it better to look manly or to look pretty?

Let's get it on!
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